I have written a song, but I have yet to find a tune that fits. It's called "Falling to Pieces."
Falling
to Pieces
I've
tried so hard.
I've
tried so long.
I
try to stand, but something is wrong.
I
cannot feel.
I
cannot hear.
I
cannot break through the silence here.
* I'm
falling to pieces when you are not around.
My
fortress, it crumbles, right down to the ground.
The
words that I've spoken, are lost and broken,
These
are my ruins that you have found.
Now
you found it.
Now
you found me.
Now
you will help to write my story.
I
have spoken.
I
have not lied.
I'm dead now! I've died on the inside!
*
I
remember the feeling
When
you were leaving.
Like
I had been flying
And
just lost my wings.
I
thought I'd be falling,
But
I was just hanging,
And
stopped, I was falling,
Falling
to Pieces.
*
I
was falling.
I
was unsure.
I
was in pain, but you were the cure.
Now
you are gone.
Now
you are free.
Now
you are not still held down by me.
*
I
need help. You're the one.
You're the anesthetic.
My
wounds have come undone.
Who
can come and save me
From
who I am inside?
It
was you, It's only you.
I
thought I'd made it through,
But
I'm to late and...
I'm
falling to pieces now that you are not around.
My
fortress, it crumbled, right down to the ground.
The
words I have spoken, say that I'm broken,
These
are my ruins scattered all around.
I've
tried so hard.
I've
tried so long.
I
try to stand, but something is wrong.
So that's the song. I only have the melody of the chorus figured out right now, but that isn't going to change any time soon.
Actually, the song is a little bit inaccurate. I'm falling to pieces anyway, but at least it's a good way when you're around. You know who you are.
Anyway. summer has been... exciting to say the least. I recently got flung out of a sit-down style tube while boating with the guys. Considering that when you crack a whip, the end of the whip breaks the sound barrier while your arm gets nowhere close, and applying that to this incident, I'd say that I was going about 50 miles per hour when the tube flipped all the way over. I mean a full flip. It landed right side up. The boat was going about 25 mph and turned left really sharply. Needless to say, I lost my sunglasses. Luckily, I had someone in the boat filming the incident. It's a great video, but I don't think I'll post it.
So, I like girls. I am attracted to them, and I think most of my friends are girls. I like the odds. Anyway, there's this one girl (who inspired the poem above) who I like more than I thought I could. I had no clue that I could like anyone that much. I'd venture as far as to say I'm in love. There's just one problem. She runs away from me. Not physically, I'm not a stalker or any other creepy sort like that. I mean she runs away emotionally. Every time we are getting close to each other emotionally, she closes up. It's like she is trying not to like me, but still does and wants to be close, so she lets me get close, and then she gets afraid of liking me, because she doesn't want to like anyone. Like anyone can help it. It's quite maddening. Not angering, just maddening. Sometimes though, I do get angry, which is stupid of me, because then I'm basically validating her fears. Silly me.
So, I think it's kinda weird how my life can shift focus. I can be totally into something, and I'll plan around it. Then, my priorities shift dramatically, and all of a sudden, something else seems entirely more important. It happens so fast for me. It gives me something to do, though.
That's all for now, folks.
